Redefining Success
"Success" is one of those words that's thrown around a lot in conversation without much clarity regarding what it means. The word is usually associated with people who have a resume packed with publicly acclaimed achievements, and those who have earned substantial wealth from various business endeavors. It can refer to someone who has accomplished something challenging, or simply someone who has achieved everything you hope to achieve yourself.
Above all, someone who is successful is often labeled so in the eyes of society. In other words: receiving such a title relies heavily on the opinions of others. It's used as a weapon; a reward dangling at the end an obstacle course to weed out those who don't meet societal standards.
We rely on the minds of those around us to deem us fit enough for such a hefty label. But what if we were the ones who decided whether or not we are successful? What if success wasn't measured by wealth or achievements, but rather an individual's character or soul?
At its core, success is subjective.
It isn't something you earn. It's not something that is given to you. It's not something you can truly "achieve", because like monetary representations of success, it will fade.
Success is created. It is a construct that is decided upon—more often than not, by society. Many of us never think to step back and question what we believe success to be outside of the guidelines society has place. We have the ability to decide how we measure success separate from what society tells us. But we don't, and sometimes that's what holds us back.
Instead of investing in ourselves and contributing to a new concept of success based on our own values, we chase after an ideal society has placed before us. Examples of this include maintaining a socially-praised physique, achieving certain milestones as specific ages, receiving a notable salary, or pursuing a "traditional" career in a stable industry. We learn this from what we see, what we hear, and what others tell us to do. At some point it becomes a habit; it's a construct that we eventually come to believe because society's presentation of success is the only one we know.
But success doesn't have to be dictated by these values. The identification of "successful" doesn't have to be assessed by material possession, financial assets, or ability to meet societal expectations. It can be given on the basis of personal morals and achievements, regardless of how big or little they are. All of those mentioned before will either fade with age or disperse with death.
When we decide what we want success to be and what its role will be in our lives—that is the power we hold. It's the ability to redefine anything. And it eventually does come down to deciding whether you want to spend your life serving our ego, or dedicate your time and energy to the things that fulfill you and your soul.
There are plenty of articles, books, and lists of tips on how to be more successful across different parts of your life. But you won't feel successful unless you define what success is to you—not someone else. When we define what success is for us, we create an achievable and sustainable goal for ourselves. We can start recognizing that we are enough and our personal successes are enough in their own right.
To me, a successful life is a meaningful life. It is a life filled with deep connection with others; laughter and adventures that produce a life-time of adventures. It's learning more about myself through each experience I have; to express myself authentically, and leave a lasting impact on the lives of others through my creative work.
My concept of success changes in the different aspects of my life. In career, I do find immense success in reaching achievements that are applauded by society—but specifically ones that I know serve me and my growth; not only to validate myself among others
Take this as your sign to stop chasing after someone else's definition of success. Don't continue striving to match an appearance or career or lifestyle all to please others. Instead, ask yourself: Will you really find success in the validation of others? Or a number on your social media profile? And even if you do, will it provide you with long-lasting satisfaction?
Success is so much more than the poster-child achievements promoted by society. Success can be sharing a life with a loved-one; taking that trip you've always wanted to do; breaking down your limited beliefs and understanding why they existed in the first place—the options are endless, and you are the writer.
Until next time, take care.
Rachel xoxo
